"No, your real driver's license, please."

During my stay here in what was once Ft. Ord, I've had many occasions to accompany my sister through the gates of the Presidio of Monterey. As is standard procedure at all military posts, I.D. is required and I willingly hand over my driver's license each time. Despite the effort I expend "rumaging" as my sister puts it, before we reach the gate, sometimes they don't even bother checking mine - they simply see the military I.D. of my chaperone and wave us through. Those conscientious enough to check invariably have some sort of commentary regarding my oh-so-beauteous license.

"What kind of I.D. card is that?"

"Wow, Virginia's got a funky driver's license!"

"Whoa! What-? Virginia, huh?"

This is generally followed by a quick peer into the car to see what sort of person carries this marvel. For those poor souls who have never seen these works of art Virginia produces, here's the best picture I can find without scanning my own and uploading it. Even I'm not that dumb.

(Yes, it's pink and purple, no matter what gender you are.)

(The background is a mess of dogwood flowers that, when studied closely, are actually made up of words.)

(The driver's signature is embossed. Makes us feel all important and stuff.)

(This small oval is a transparent little window with the driver's ghostly face in it, almost like you sold them your soul for this plastic card and they trapped it there and gave it back, only to snatch it again should you fail to meet their standards on the road.)

The horizontal ones have some sort of building on it instead of flowers, I think, but since I haven't bothered to get mine changed since I turned 21 (no, it hasn't expired yet) I haven't had a chance to study them in depth.

*Since this image is floating all over Google Images, I'm pretty sure it's a mock-up. If not, I guess Alyssa Faith James is dumb enough to scan hers and post it online. I, however, claim no responsibility for her idiocy.*